Wisps of Extrodinary

Adoption

In the idealist view we see a loving family, a lonely child, a perfect combination that when brought together equals a joyful bliss for all involved. A fairytale come to life.

But the reality is that as beautiful as adoption is, it can be really hard at times. Rewarding, but yet discouraging. Joyful, yet heart breaking.

Our little one came home grieving immensely. He was full of anxiety, anger that would manifest itself in hitting, screaming tantrums, and an extreme need for control. He was confused, scared, insecure, and hurting. The first few weeks he would not let me put him down and was constantly just drenched in sweat, his anxiety was so great....it was heartbreaking. We felt helpless in our ability comfort, soothe, heal him.

A year later. We have an adorable little boy who is secure, silly, boisterous, confident, outgoing...a joy :o) But we are still coping with an extreme need for control, which often manifests itself with an explosive temper. Knowing my goober and loving him. I know where this need comes from, I know where he has been and I can see beautiful glimpses of the leader he will likely be someday, when he has the wisdom to contain his passion. But there are times when this can be discouraging, weeks where the tantrums just seem greater, the hitting begins again, and it just feels like we are going backwards. It's a humbling experience when you're getting pummeled by your two year old while trying to buckle a safety belt in the grocery store or your child flies into a rage because he must hold a hand in a parking lot. These types of behaviors are frowned at in society. It's humbling when instead of firmly disciplining you have to meet these behaviors with gentle calmness, because you know your child will fly into a heightened anxiety if you don't diffuse gently. But while you are doing such, you have kind strangers jumping in to scold your child, because they feel you are needing assistance. It's easy, when your struggles are so publicly frowned upon to look at other families, even adoptive families, and feel like you are somehow failing. This was my week. A week where the tunnel vision of the struggles, was hurting my heart, because I was forgetting to see the full tapestry of our year. The distance the Lord has brought my precious boy and the tremendous miracle that has been transforming him.

Our church has been doing an awesome series this month on living an uncommon life and at one point the pastor asked, what would Jesus see when he looks at us. Would he see a common person doing common things or would he see a person who is uncommon doing extraordinary things.

Whoa!

I held the tears in, but it was as if Jesus had just reached down and given me a great big hug.

For in the midst of the feeling of failure and humbling, disapproving glances....just maybe, my Savior is looking on with a smile and seeing the uncommon.

(I am sharing these thoughts and feelings in the hopes that they may help and possibly encourage the other adopting families, who I know read this blog. Sending prayers and love out there to all who are traveling this wonderful (even when challenging) adoption road.)

"Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for the orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." James 1:27